Some time along...

We creatives beat ourselves up a lot. Its really a bad thing. It leads to aggravated imposter syndrome and often that is quite crippling on its own. It necessitates a certain amount of not-caring-at-all-and-just-being-yourself. 

I can say that after 35 years of a very peculiar creative journey, (in my opinion) its still not something I do with reckless abandon in all my creative endeavours. I regularly engage in a few creative disciplines beside writing. I used cartoon every day (in fact that was my art beginning - writing and drawing cartoons), but also photography and video and from the early 90s I transitioned to being an entirely digital artist. 

I have some coordination challenges that were as result of a birth condition, and with that came several years of occupational therapy, which, marginally improved my hand-eye coordination. But its still not great. So gradually having technology do for me what I wasn't able to do with my hands, has been a gigantic enabler.

Now I'm finding a desire to regain my actual drawing skills to realise certain project in particular styles. The strange part of this personal renaissance is getting back to drawing but using the PC with a drawing tablet screen and unlimited undo's. Somehow dipping my feet in the drawing water again is still a challenge because its a reversion of sorts not relying on 3D modelling and sculpting.

I still have my art observation, composition and colour theory skills, I just feel like I fell off the creative horse and I've landed really hard. I keep telling myself to get back up, and I will.... eventually. Its just that old habits die hard...